I'm Movin' Out...BY SCRUFFY!

Well, well, well....looks pretty peaceful here....our AM I RILL US bloomed Christmas Day...how cool is this????

Even Moosehead wants to check it out...so peaceful, huh??? Well, not for long....

Well, I found these in the bathroom drawer on Christmas when Mumsie was dryin' her fur...Daddy's retainers...so I snatched 'em...hey, it's not just Lacie who wants to look good around here...my bottom incisors are a bit crooked...

Mumsie starts screechin' that those are SPENSIVE and um SHOVES HER HAND INTO MY MOUTH...not so smart, I'm just sayin'...so she bled a little...like all over the floor...it was a minor scratch....I just hope it didn't make my toofers more crooked....

And then today...lookie at me hiding...ya see that purple slipper to the right of this snap? Well, that was tossed at my foxy self...yep...

Even the Black and Tan Club had tucked their tails at Mumsie's screeching.....

Well...yes...it's dirt...on the carpet...and it's the second time in like ten minutes....she had just cleaned up the first pile of dirt when I well just HAD TO DIG IN THE PLANT.

See...see that candy caned shaped dingo???? Well, I buried it in there...I WAS JUST BEIN' A DOG. Mumsie didn't realize till I tried to retrieve it the second time; think she mighta felt bad for like two seconds....and well, I did get a bit covered in mud.

But there was NO REASON TO INCARCERATE ME......sheesch.

All a dog wants is straight teeth and a nice plant in the family room to bury his bone...I'm movin' out...Asta said I can stay with her....

Poor Misunderstood Me....

Foxy Barks,

Scruffman

What is Christmas?...by the Terriers

When asked the of the Meaning of Christmas, the Terriers replied:

LACIE: "Well, I mean Christmas is pressies, and totally glittery lights and shopping on crowded city sidewalks and kissin' boyz under the mistletoe and did I say shopping???"

STANLEY: "I think Christmas is about snugglin' with my family watchin' football and walking at the park and hoping that someone drops a hooge chunk of that ham I see sittin' on the counter."
SCRUFFY: "Lacie and Stanley....Christmas is sorta about pressies and shopping and scoring ham, but I think it's like this... you know that feelin' ya get when the hoomans come home? That's JOY. And how our house feels when Lacie finally stops shrieking? That's PEACE. And when the hooman looks in our eyes and we give 'em a slurp? That's LOVE.

And you know how ya feel when when Mumsie looks at our leashes hangin' on the wall...well, Stan and Lacie...that's HOPE.

And that's what Christmas is all about!"

Merry Christmas, Everybody!! WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Scruffy, Lacie and Stan

Snowplow Therapy!!

Lacie here...I SO did not appreciate the last post....what I have to tolerate from my stoopid brothers...just see if Santa Paws brings them ANYTHING....









WE GOT SNOW!! Like a half a foot of it!!! Here I am doin' my best snow plow imitation....

Boy, that Scruffy gets all irritable...look at those foxy teeth...all I was doin' was chasin' him and Stanley, bitin' their necks and tryin' to make 'em squeal....

Speakin' of plows, we got this most disturbing peemail from my sweet Archie this morning:

So ya know we are getting our snow storm...I was all prepared...OK once I woke up in the middle of the night and barked but that was it..I didn't do it anymore...So I was ready.....PL1+2 got all ready in their 4000 layers of clothes and shoes and boots....ANd RIGHT AS WE WALKED OUT THE DOOR THE STUPID MAN WHO PLOWS OUR DRIVEWAY DROVE UP AND PUT THE PLOW DOWN..........FREAKED OUT WE BOTH DID....OK so they tried to walk us but it was a bit futile and we came back in...them after resuce rememdy, nose band and anxiety wraps(just for me the wrap....) we settled down....About 3 hours later we were sort of tooting up a storm(ha ha get it?? I haven't lost my sense of humor) so out we went again..but PL1 thoughtt maybe we should go in the postage stamp back yard...so off we went, and we actually were playing alittle AND YOU WILL NOT FLIPPING BELIEVE THIS>>> THE STUPID PLOW MAN CAME AGAIN.........DOWN OUR DRIVEWAY...Play ended and we were whisked down the path behind the house...One of us went( and it wasn't me) so we had to keep walking...So I sort of slightly settled down(not) and PL2 was giving me treats and stuff...AND THE BIGGEST PLOW I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE CAME...PL1 started to run with Aggie but PL2 is old and decrepit and couldn't(well she could but she would have died) So after 16000 cookies we made it home.....I am never coming out again

Love your pal Arch

Now, dear Archie has had this plow problem since last winter...the poor boy is suffering, so I am taking matters into my own paws and getting him some help....here you see Archie on the famous SIGH CRY A TRYST'S couch, waiting for the famous

Dr. Scruffmund Floyd

I asked Dr. Floyd what would be the best treatment for my sweet Archie to rid himself of this horrible snow plow FO BEE A....

He gave the matter great thought and said he thought DE SCENTS SI TIZ ING Archie to the stressor (ie the plow) would be the best therapy. He suggests the PL's show him a pic of an ATTRACTIVE snow plow every hour for three seconds to begin.

Oh my...if only all snow plows were so adorable!!!

I'm sure this will cure him!!!

Tra la la la!!!

Kisses...Laciecakes!!

Stan's Gottcha Day and Speechless Lacie!

Stanley here....yeppers, I get to post! Cuz this week was my GOTCHA DAY!! Yep, I've suffered er I mean have enjoyed livin' here in da Burgh for TWO WHOLE YEARS!!



So what did we do to celebrate? We posed in our Christmas bandannas! Scruffy certainly seems to be in a good mood today....course Scruffy is never in a bad mood unless ya touch his feet.

He does look good in red...course most foxies do....

Hmm...speakin' of moods...looks like Laciegirlie is in one today...she only has one mood....

BAD.

Ahhhhh....can ya imagine livin' with this for two years? That's twenty four months to be exact.....Look at that famous snarl.....awful close to my handsome Dale face....

Hmm......

What's a Dale to do? You know I hate conflict.

Are words necessary? My soulful eyes say it all.....

The other reason Lacie let me post was well um she seemed to have an allergic reaction to all that chapstick she smeared all over her face for her Mistletoe Kiss A Lakie Event.

Her lips swelled up again you can't tell her butt from her face......she can't talk...works for us.....

See what I mean?

Course it could be worse...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA...oh what a nightmare that would be...Lacie

with TWO HEADS....

SHEESCH...she would never say 'NUFF SAID...cuz she'd never SHUT UP.......

Holiday Dale Howls!!!

Stan the Man!!!

Pucker Up!!!!!

Hi Everybody!!!! Scruffy here.....Don't we look festive??? Yeppers, it's that time of the year. And speakin' of which, it's this time of the year.....

MISTLETOE TIME!!!!!

Some of you may remember that Lacie had an issue where she did soooooooooo much kissin' that her lips swelled bigger, well, than her BUTT...

But not this year....Asta thoughtfully sent Lac "Chapstick" by the truckload....

Our house is full of it.....

THINK SHE'S GONNA NEED IT???

Scruffman

PUCKER UP BOYZ!!!!!......

Trimmin' the Tree, LACIESTYLE!

Lacie here....recently I sent this pic to Eric to see if I could fuel his fear of Total World Takeover By Wheelies. He said that the wheelies were being monitered and that even though that giant wheelie Nellie Phant was hooge it wasn't the feared Secret Wheelie Leader...hmm...perhaps this is....

Isn't he totally adorable??? I'm wondering if he dates....

Check this out!!!!! Mumsie and Daddy DESERTED me...oh, and my stoopid brothers, too and went to North Carolina this weekend to visit Big Sissy, aka Cat Woman and her FEE ONSS, Dan.

I so could have gone, but NOOOOOOOO.

They left me here (with my stoopid brothers) and had Bruvver, Sus, and Baylee move in and "watch us." My latte froth wasn't whipped correctly, they forgot to blow dry my beard with a round brush on Saturday, and Bruvver sent a most rude text to Mumsie regarding the fact I um BANGED ON MY CRATE DOOR disturbing their sleep, referring to moi in HOB terms...

Sheesch.

But look at the COLOR of the above wreath...I decided to help them with some decorating...can ya tell from the pic....it's PURPLE!!!!!

AND...the tree...can ya see it???? The lights??? White and PURPLE??????

Mumsie had NO IDEA till she got home....she adores it...

And Bruvver and Sus put EVERYTHING on a bunch of timers...she doesn't even hafta lift her lazy little finger....

What do ya think of the ornaments???

Fa la la la la la!!!

Festive Barks!

Lacie

Pee ess...

I refoosed to even greet Mumsie when she came home. Doesn't pay to leave the Lacie.

A Christmas Card from Mango to Lacie......SHHESCH!

LOOK AT THIS STOOPID CARD I GOT YESTERDAY IN THE MAIL FROM MANGO...Have you ever ever seen anything so viciously distorted...so horribly photoshopped? I mean it makes him look almost athletic...I'm to assume he has a six pack under those tights?...(hmm...somehow I don't think Miss Enid would approve of that speculation..."A lady never wonders what is under Mango's tights...." SHEESCHESCH...I soooo don't care....)



I, on the other paw, look HOOOOOOOOGE....like a FAT TEDDY BEAR who is singing opera....do NOT bigafy the pic...it's big enuff....

And who could resist the charming sentiment he typed on the card..."Best wishes that your toot toot doesn't explode this holiday season." I kid you not.


These were obviously taken at the Nutcracker Debacle last year in Boston...whereupon he's manipulated them to make me look well....FAT.





Speaking of holiday shows we went to see the Rockettes this past weekend!!!!! They were AMAZING...there was one disturbing incident, however, that was addressed in the next morning's Pittsburgh paper......




Yep....ya know that scene where the girls all line up...a canon is shot and they all fall over oh so slowly????????

Get a look at the first "Rockette" soldier...ya might need to bigify it....

Or, being thoughtful, I can bigify it for ya...

Yep...the Relentlessly Hooge was hoggin' the stage...again. You woulda thought he had enuff last year as a Sugarplum Fairy....but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....

It was an ugleee scene when he fell backwards onto the other Rockettes...

Trust me...there is nuthin' festive 'bout a SMUSHED Rockette....

Mango was taken into custody...the smushed Rockettes received medical attention...and I finished the show...

My incredibly long legs showed off bootifully on stage....if I do say so myself...check out the header photo...

They haven't set bail for Mango yet...too bad huh???

Festive Barks...

Lacie

Rules for Dating by Lacie and Miss Enid......

Miss Enid Wheelie

Now, now...Quiet, please....yes...I know many of you wished to sign up for the

RULES ON DATING FOR BOYZ

class that Scruffy and Stan were runnin' here last weekend...Well...no worries....they had a stoopid poker pawty instead so I rescheduled it...oh my...what a turnout we had...so many of you came...boyz and girlies....(it's VERY IMPORTANT for girlies, also to understand what is considered PROPER EAT A CAT....)

For this reason, I did engage a guest speaker...yes...Eric Square Dog's very own MISS ENID.

She is the world's leading authority on Eat A Cat and was happy to provide a list of proper behaviors for both sexes.....

A Lady

Never tolerates or performs rudeness, crudeness, indifference or ignorance from or to another human being.

Always cultivates a positive attitude.

Never chews gum in public.


Never fixes her appearance (hair or make-up) in public.

Remembers; to discuss the price of anything is never in good taste.


Does not gossip.

Accepts and gives compliments graciously.

Never holds private conversations in public gatherings.

Never uses slang or bad language.


Always looks for ways to better herself; spiritually, physically and intellectually.


Thinks before she speaks, once said, never forgotten.

Ladies shall never embrace and kiss when they meet in a public place.


Has at least one reference manual regarding etiquette protocol.

A Gentleman

A gentleman is defined as: A man of gentle birth, one entitled to bear arms, though not noble; A man of chivalrous instinct and fine feelings.

It is still expected that a gentleman stand up the first time
a lady enters a room or takes her final leave.

It is considered chivalrous to open a door for a lady if he happens to be in reasonable proximity.

Should never remove his coat while standing, sitting, riding, or walking with a lady.

Shall never ask a lady to dance if he has his coat removed.

Shall lift his hat and say Excuse Me when he brushes against a lady on the street.

Should always walk on the outside when walking with one or more ladies.

Shall not hold a ladies arm, except when support is needed.

Shall remove his hat while talking to a lady.

When a gentleman is seated in a restaurant and a lady acquaintance enters and bows the gentleman should return the bow while he remains seated, if the lady stops at his table the gentleman shall rise and remain standing till she departs.
With apologies to Norman Rockwell

Here are a few more suggestions from Miss Enid:

The following actions were considered extremely rude in the presence of company:

crossing the legs adjusting your hair winking your eyes laughing immoderately beating time with your feet and hands rubbing your face or hands shrugging up your shoulders placing your hand upon the person with whom you are conversing looking steadily at one

Victorian Courtship

Victorian dates were almost always supervised in some way. A woman was never to go anywhere alone with a gentleman without her mother's permission. A woman was never to go out with a gentleman late at night. In fact, it was considered extremely impolite for a gentleman to stay late at a woman's home. A woman was allowed some liberties, however. She could flirt with her fan, as this behavior was within the protocol of accepted behavior. A single woman never addressed a gentleman without an introduction. A single woman never walked alone. Her chaperone was older and preferably married. If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart. A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiancée. Proper women never rode alone in a closed carriage with a man who wasn't a relative. She would never call upon an unmarried gentleman at his place of residence. She couldn't receive a man at home if she was alone. Another family member had to be present in the room. A gentlewoman never looked back after anyone in the street, or turned to stare at others at church, the opera, etc. No impure conversations were held in front of single women. No sexual contact was allowed before marriage. Innocence was demanded by men from girls in his class, and most especially from his future wife. Intelligence was not encouraged, nor was any interest in politics.

(The above were referenced from here. A fab website...)



Ok....this post is long enuff....I just have a few rules of my own....by the way I respectfully object to that intelligence comment...not to mention a few of the others....!!!

Kay, Boyz....READY?

Lacie's Rules of EAT A CAT for Boyz:

1. Allow the girlie to drink from the waterbowl first.
2. Girlies get the first choice of stuffies or bones.
3. Always allow the girlie to run out the door first.
4. Girls get prime seating in the family room...and first choice of the hooman's lap if desired.
5. Boyz get shots first at the vets.
6. On a cold walk, have some consideration for us girlies and don't pee on EVERYTHING.
7. DO NOT pee on our heads or anyplace else when leg lifting. That golden shower is soooo disgusting.
8. Put the seat down.
9. Watch the temperature of your nose when greeting me. Sheeschsch.
10. Remember...we girls are ALWAYS RIGHT.

Girls...please feel free to add your own rules in the comment section.

Boyz...feel free to read them....

'NUFF SAID...

Lacie

WHAT IS in our WATERBOWL????

OK...Lacie here....Stan is in his SAD DALE mode cuz he always has to get his beardie wiped after a drink. He has levels of drinks....

Level one: A slurp.
Level two: Inserts hoooge Dale head into bowl and drinks half of it.
Level three: Lies down with bowl between front paws and drinks other half of it.

Needless to say he makes a TOTAL MESS....Mumsie has always said she wished he'd drink from a cup...but this?????

Yeppers...it's what ya think it is...an UNMENTIONABLE...and it's surely not mine...I'd never wear anything less than black lace....yeecscschsch....totally ugleeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Ya see the laundry basket beside our bowl? Well, Mumsi was doing some folding and well her UNMENTIONABLE fell right in the our water bowl. Yep. Weird, huh?

I thought about gettin' a drink, but I figured it'd make more sense to just put some laundry soap in there and at least try to whiten her stoopid um well you know.

What can I say?

I thought I could train Stan to drink from the cups, but he said they were um well...not big enuff....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Scruffy found the whole idea fascinating....he would.

Yeppers...he plucked that UNMENTIONABLE right outta our bowl and took it to his rug and commenced chewing it up...Mumsie grabbed it at that point and they had a nice tuggie of war...nuthin' like elastic to improve a tug game.....I'm figuring the straps are a bit bigger now...stretched out, ya know.....

Yep...this house is odd alright...Blog writes itself.

Kisses....hope ur tummies are full of TURKEY...(OH....I so did NOT appreciate Khyra's KHOMMENT how she was laughin' at just how MANY my thunderous turkey thighs would feed. I have very dainty legs...sheesch.)

Jake's coming over tonight for a pok... er CLASS I'm holding FOR BOYZ ON DATING. Scruffy and Stan are runnin' it, but I wrote the syllabus...don't worry girls...it's all good...next post...

AND please wish Asta's mommie a very HAPPY BURPDAY!!!!

She's twenty today!!!! Cool, huh!!!

Kisses...Laciegirlie