Now, now...Quiet, please....yes...I know many of you wished to sign up for the
class that Scruffy and Stan were runnin' here last weekend...Well...no worries....they had a stoopid poker pawty instead so I rescheduled it...oh my...what a turnout we had...so many of you came...boyz and girlies....(it's VERY IMPORTANT for girlies, also to understand what is considered PROPER EAT A CAT....)
For this reason, I did engage a guest speaker...yes...Eric Square Dog's very own MISS ENID.
She is the world's leading authority on Eat A Cat and was happy to provide a list of proper behaviors for both sexes.....
Never tolerates or performs rudeness, crudeness, indifference or ignorance from or to another human being.
Always cultivates a positive attitude.
Never chews gum in public.
Never fixes her appearance (hair or make-up) in public.
Remembers; to discuss the price of anything is never in good taste.
Does not gossip.
Accepts and gives compliments graciously.
Never holds private conversations in public gatherings.
Never uses slang or bad language.
Always looks for ways to better herself; spiritually, physically and intellectually.
Thinks before she speaks, once said, never forgotten.
Ladies shall never embrace and kiss when they meet in a public place.
Has at least one reference manual regarding etiquette protocol.
A gentleman is defined as: A man of gentle birth, one entitled to bear arms, though not noble; A man of chivalrous instinct and fine feelings.
It is still expected that a gentleman stand up the first time
a lady enters a room or takes her final leave.
It is considered chivalrous to open a door for a lady if he happens to be in reasonable proximity.
Should never remove his coat while standing, sitting, riding, or walking with a lady.
Shall never ask a lady to dance if he has his coat removed.
Shall lift his hat and say Excuse Me when he brushes against a lady on the street.
Should always walk on the outside when walking with one or more ladies.
Shall not hold a ladies arm, except when support is needed.
Shall remove his hat while talking to a lady.
When a gentleman is seated in a restaurant and a lady acquaintance enters and bows the gentleman should return the bow while he remains seated, if the lady stops at his table the gentleman shall rise and remain standing till she departs.
With apologies to Norman Rockwell
Here are a few more suggestions from Miss Enid:
The following actions were considered extremely rude in the presence of company:
crossing the legs
Victorian dates were almost always supervised in some way. A woman was never to go anywhere alone with a gentleman without her mother's permission.
A woman was allowed some liberties, however. She could flirt with her fan, as this behavior was within the protocol of accepted behavior.
Ok....this post is long enuff....I just have a few rules of my own....by the way I respectfully object to that intelligence comment...not to mention a few of the others....!!!
1. Allow the girlie to drink from the waterbowl first.
2. Girlies get the first choice of stuffies or bones.
3. Always allow the girlie to run out the door first.
4. Girls get prime seating in the family room...and first choice of the hooman's lap if desired.
5. Boyz get shots first at the vets.
6. On a cold walk, have some consideration for us girlies and don't pee on EVERYTHING.
7. DO NOT pee on our heads or anyplace else when leg lifting. That golden shower is soooo disgusting.
8. Put the seat down.
9. Watch the temperature of your nose when greeting me. Sheeschsch.
10. Remember...we girls are ALWAYS RIGHT.
Girls...please feel free to add your own rules in the comment section.
Boyz...feel free to read them....